I support the use of the "seeing someone" option, although I hardly see it. When subscribing to the A-List users would have an ad free experience, and get extra features like seeing if someone has … The most important thing OkCupid found was that messages that were short and sincere (i.e. And when you both like each other, we always let both of you know, for free. Why do they feel the need to return to OKCupid to inform the world that they are now “seeing someone”? OkCupid Search by Username to Find Someone OkCupid used to have a way to search by “username,” which made it relatively easy to look up someone’s frequently used moniker or screen/username. Now I'm only looking for "penpals and friends" and any gender. I imagine these people have fuckbuddies they aren't in a relationship with, which is why there are two distinct options: "relationship" and "seeing someone". I would assume they are looking for a bit on the side. In the words of Sneakers: Too many secrets. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, cheers darlin', I got years to wait around for you, Two undernourished egos, four rotating hips. Window shopping. I know someone whose divorce took seven years to complete, so he was legally he was married for quite a long time even though the relationship was long dead and buried. That's what "Available" is for. hide. Hey y'all, I'm looking for a bit of advice. If you like a woman and she uses the free version of OkCupid, she will never see your like unless she likes your profile as well. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If we were all this honest with each other dating would be much less difficult. That's a social networking site, not a dating site. Let's dive into likes on OkCupid, why women write, "I can't see likes." Typically you'd Hide a user if you're not interested. OkCupid… 20 Best OkCupid Openers . So are you available or not?? OkCupid’s algorithm uses those answers to generate a match percentage between you and other users of the service. That’s why we’re always working to release innovative features (like our brand-new photo commenting), and improve existing ones.So this week, we removed visitors from all accounts because we realized that doing so makes OkCupid better. I've seen at least 4 people I know who aren't single listing as single on OKCupid. After our divorce I went back on OkCupid and then met the infamous Bank Robber. When you like someone, it lets us know you’re interested in them, so we make an effort to show you to them around OkCupid much more often, so they have a chance to see you and like you back. Why does my Looking For say ‘Only non-monogamous’? It's called Polyamory. To give us some tips on OkCupid and how best to maintain an online dating profile, we reached out to experts Julie Spira and Laurie Davis. What's the point of maintaining an active profile on okcupid when one is seeing someone, and it doesn't ostensibly seem like he or she desirous of open relationships? Like other mobile dating apps, OkCupid offers a swipe feature, where users are able to check out the profile of others and make a swipe left or swipe right decision based on what they like. Killing time on their work breaks. If you’re actually into someone, you have to say something genuine to them, even if it’s just “Hey.” ... "Out of the 2,601 times I was placed in front of someone, five people actually clicked through to my profile. Why even disclose that one is seeing someone if it's not a relationship? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. OkCupid messages may disappear because they user has unmatched you, they blocked you, or they simply deleted their profile. 11 comments. About 4 in 10 people would cancel a date with someone who didn’t want to take the COVID-19 vaccine and 215,000 people would cancel a date with someone who refused to social distance. Features & Communication Tools. Send a message to someone … Hell a lot of single people are actually in long-term or short-term exclusive relationships. report. This thread is archived. Search by Their Old OkCupid Username (From Before the Redesign) If the person you’re looking for signed up prior to the redesign in 2018, you can still find them by their old username! They should explain that in their profile then. In the past I did, to look for friends or help with crits here. That would be kind of smart, actually. Blocking or unmatching someone will prevent them from seeing your profile -- if they try to view your profile after you block/unmatch them, it will look just like you deleted your OkCupid account. I realized it was fucking asinine though and gave up. I just started seeing someone, so I changed that and some other things instead of deleting my profile. People listed as seeing someone maintaining active profiles... What's the point of maintaining an active profile on okcupid when one is seeing someone, and it doesn't ostensibly seem like he or she desirous of open relationships? That's the problem with OkCupid. OkCupid FAQ – All Your OkCupid Questions, Answered By The Experts! I hate when people list themselves as "Seeing someone", but then say they're poly in their profile. If you both mark that you like each other, OkCupid will let you know. However, on OkCupid (unlike other sites) you have the opportunity to send an introduction to someone before they've liked you. The agony and twitchiness over this issue could all be solved if people actually bothered to read profiles. I switched back to single status to avoid further criticism. Outside of polyamorous people, and a lot of the poly people I know disable in order to focus on their primary relationship instead of constantly keeping their pole in the river, but outside that there's a metric fuckton of people who use it to cheat on their S.O. Why, if they’re happily “seeing someone,” wouldn’t they just take their profile down and go … OKCupid is making it easier for individuals to date multiple people. People who’ve found love on OkCupid (meaning couples who’ve mutually deactivated) have had self-summaries that are an average of 50 words long, or 256 characters. Maybe they like to chat, make friends, have pen pals, give tourists ideas about travelling to their city, profile critique, argue with strangers--read the profile, it's not difficult. If you’re looking for a hookup or a casual dating relationship, OkCupid is a great choice. Popular answer is polyamory, but to date, I've had starting messages come from ladies who are listed as "seeing someone" and openly, willingly told me they only did it to keep creeps away. It's not like I instantly disabled the profile when I found someone, just changed the status. OKcupid is very big amongst us polyamorous folk. "Seeing Someone" People are so shallow they're either looking for an upgrade or flirting for ego boost. No. BUT communication is still possible. I'm new to this sub, but I've been on OKC off and on for a little over a year now. It’s free, popular, and has a large user pool especially if you’re in a big city. seeing someone but labeled as single? i've had ladies who are in a relationship message me on the site. This will do the same thing. The dating website will now allow OkCupid couples who are listed as being in a relationship—either “seeing someone,” “married,” or “in an open relationship”—to link their accounts and then invite others to join their relationship. Just out of curiosity, why use a dating site to look for friends? It doesn't matter why "married" or "seeing someone" are on the site, it obviously has some value or purpose for them. If you don't like it, try match.com, we're here to stay. 'Cause OkC is also a fine way to kill time chatting with strangers. Blocked people also cannot message you. portland is way too small for that shit. “If you ever hear someone complain to you that everyone on OKCupid is ugly,” Rudder says, “you can laugh because that means they themselves are not good looking.” 3. So if you’re really looking for love, less than two tweets length puts you in the best position. But I find that one of the easiest ways to get someone to reply is to open with a “would you rather?” type question. For friends, activity partners, long distance pen pals. If you want to see the full list of who likes you (even if you haven’t liked them yet) you can upgrade to Premium. Learn more Blocking is reciprocal, so you won't see them anywhere either. As long as you're active and Like everyone you're interested in, you'll always know who Likes you back, for free. All of these options result in OkCupid message disappearing. I'm single, but that's been my experience so far. I have yet for anyone to take 'seeing someone' the right way as an act of transparency and a passive signal you won't or can't date other people currently. You could be legally married but divorcing. Like them it's nice; i'd like more female friends. Thee options are open relationship and seeing someone. Plus my Gf likes to have me log in and spy on her friends' accounts once in a while. 54% Upvoted. ... "If you keep seeing a profile you don't want to see anymore, you can hide it. Does anyone here do this? “seeing someone” Why the hell do people on OKCupid who are “seeing someone” still frequent OKCupid? One of the reasons I broke up with an ex was he maintained his OKcupid profile while we were dating, six months in, insisting it was for friends. it's because people are cynical and always looking to trade up even if there's a 0.001% chance of it happening through okcupid. Would You Rather? share. :) Turning someone down because I'm seeing someone else from OKC. Liking people is a great way to let them know that you're interested! Polyamory can stay; comma splices have got to go. The core features of OkCupid remained free allowing users to create a profile, search, take tests, and send and read messages. Would only try it again and message other straight women who had put looking for friends if I got desperate, but I have about a million resources now so it's highly unlikely it will come to that, especially considering I'm Facebook friends with the girl who runs a Toronto based "find friends" thing. I'm so curious! We want to fix that. that's so fucking stupid of them. We want to provide our members with the best experience possible. Is OkCupid the best dating site? I would probably choose "single" in such a case but maybe others feel otherwise. Sometimes you're seeing someone and not in an exclusive relationship. Here are the top best ways to search for someone specific on OkCupid today. It can be search filtered out. See, I considered the fake a-list incognito thing. 213k members in the OkCupid community. OKCupid also has an option to "Hide", this is different from blocking. Here’s what I mean: Sunset or sunrise? GTFO!! Seeing someone =/= monogamous relationship. Active profile doesn't mean they're sending or responding to msgs. if you're gonna be cheating scum at least don't advertise it to the whole world, how stupid can you get. Firstly I would like to say that I love this subreddit! Days after deleting an OKCupid profile that included ... You’re not just letting someone into your ... me walking down the street and told me the exact location where he kept seeing me. If you still need help, you can email support@okcupid.com I found that disrespectful and inappropriate and that he could look for friends on sites not meant for dating. I really don't see a reason to disable it all-together. This means when they first see you, they'll see your full profile and your introduction at the same time, which is a great way to pique their interest. We’ve also spoken to dozens of women about their experiences on OkCupid, and have heard the same sentiment over and over again: OkCupid can be overwhelming when you’re receiving tons of messages, even when the majority of them are well-meaning or fine enough — but not from the people you’re really looking for. Friends, Activity Partners, and Long Distance Penpals are also options on OkC. haha lovely reference, I think I'll have to watch that movie again sometime soon. Can you provide some insight? Your Looking For will be set to only non-monogamous in the case that you are seeing someone or are married. Trying to befriend men who were attracted to me was dumb. We just aren't there yet. If you don’t want a particular person to see you anywhere on OkCupid, you can block them. Many thanks to you all for educating me on the ways of the mysterious world of OkCupid! Whenever I play Quickmatch and find someone whose status is "Seeing Someone," I know that person rated me highly because I checked "Who are single" in my "looking for" section. OkCupid has seen an uptick in users looking for dates outside their own state or country, so it has added a Passport feature to encourage long-distance matchmaking. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. sometimes you need to draw from the bench, when your main player goes down, a) legit looking for friends only (I wouldn't do this anymore but at the time OKC was more recently "dating" vs "primarily quiz site" so it made more sense then. If you've liked someone but are having second thoughts, you can Unmatch. OkCupid daters have been taking the pandemic very seriously. Asking a question is one of the best OkCupid opener because it is one of the few OkCupid messages that get responses. If you opt to hide a user, you prevent them from showing up on your feed and from seeing their profile when browsing, and the same on their side. Assuming it's not a misclick, wouldn't it be better to use the open relationship option? my female friend does it - she says she likes the moderation feature, but I secretly think she gets off on rejecting people. You have to Like someone before messaging because OkCupid only wants the conversation to be between people who are interested in one another. save. OkCupid requires you enable Javascript in your browser. It's not like either of us are looking for more than friends and I will assume that anyone who messages me with other intentions is illiterate. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. I signed up for OkCupid way back in 2007 and actually met my ex-husband through that site. ), b) To hide myself from search/match results looking for singles (poor man's A-List Incognito). However, perhaps to help with privacy, the site ditched the “username” search (which used to be an option shown just below the “bookmarks” tab), labeled as “Find a user.” Oh no! Why log in everyday if you're in a monogamous relationship? Basic features offered by OkCupid include liking or hiding a profile, seeing the percent you matched with someone, and a green button showing who of your matches is currently online. 99 votes, 97 comments. OkCupid has offered a socially distanced networking tool that has allowed singles to be honest about what they want and explore friendships and relationships — even across borders. My SO also has an OKCupid profile and has done the same, so I don't see anything wrong with it. 1. Say you meet someone online, and you start seeing each other, and things are going really well. Spira started online dating in 1994 and has since published the best-seller "The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic" and "The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Manners on the Web." 1. OKCupid is the most affordable of the top online dating sites. It can imply the same thing that facebook's "it's complicated" does. How to send that first introduction to someone: 1. Or someone want to enlighten me with a legit justification? There is nothing worse on OKCupid than receiving some cornball pickup line that you know they have used on approximately 20 other people that day alone (I’m looking at you, 20-something dudes with mirror selfies as profile pictures.) I suspect we are headed towards a future where find friends websites, that resemble OKC, will become a thing. Since my tutorial on How To Find Someone’s Tinder Profile was a tremendous success, I’m back with another super useful tutorial for another huge dating site: OkCupid. Only paid members can see who likes their profile. If you've had a conversation with them, blocking/unmatching will also remove the conversation from their Conversations page. OkC is primarily a dating site, but it does have other uses.